The List

I’m back! This may not be immediately obvious to all, for due to a variety of wetware to software malfunctions, I have had to create an entirely new blog. My prolonged absence from the blogosphere has been mostly due to the crazy rush that has been my life. My return is almost completely due to the incessant hints and pleas from my family. PaPa, this one’s for you! Also, I’ve missed blogging.

The List

For the past few months, this has been the label/handle of an idea in the back of my head: things I’ve never done, but wish to do. Some call such a list a “bucket list”, but I don’t think that mine is inspired by a sense of imminent mortality. Mine is more, I think, brought on by a sense of living life. I’m not shy, but I am reserved. I’m a cautious person; despite my wanderlust and big imagination, sometimes I struggle to move. Specifically, I struggle to move forward. Looking back, staying still: these are things I have perfected. On a bad day, I struggle to appreciate myself and the life I have; on a bad day, I make lists in my head. They always begin: “I’m such-and-such age and I’ve never…”. From there, I list everything I think I should have done, everything I’ve wanted to do but never gotten around to, everything other people say I should have done already.

Not today. Not this year. This year, I am not reacting; this year, I am doing something about that list. I’m not naive, I know that I will probably always have those bad days, that sense of dissatisfaction. I’ve grown up enough to realize those feelings are internal to my being, not necessarily contingent to circumstances. But this year, I am actively doing something, even if it is only to make those lists slightly smaller. So, in 2013, each month I am going to do something I have never done before. Nothing too expensive or too wild…probably.

Each month I’ll pick something and post the ensuing story here. So, PaPa, you are at least guaranteed 12 posts! To figure out what I haven’t done, I had to make list of the things I’ve done. It turned out longer than expected…

I have been punched in the face, broken multiple bones, been escorted home by multiple police officers, been high (off a bad reaction to doctor prescribed albuterol, let’s be clear), lived overseas, flown halfway across the country by myself, exchanged phone numbers with a guy over a Redbox machine. I have been drunk, shot a gun, was a green belt in martial arts, had a tornado blow through my front yard, been interviewed by a reporter, been Employee of the Month, nominated for Employee of the Year, called my boss a bitch over the phone (this is related to the albuterol story and NOT the reason I have since changed jobs), been to rock concert. My essay was chosen for Best Narrative Essay at college.

What do I want to add this pile next? The other pile, the “never” pile is filled with things like rock climbing, paint balling, singing karaoke, going to a bar and actually drinkingng. I’ve never ridden a Tarq bus or a train, never dyed my hair or been to a midnight showing; never been dancing. I’ve never finished a novel.

So, what first?

Categories: ordinary life, The List | 3 Comments

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3 thoughts on “The List

  1. Nana

    Hannah May, I think the first thing you should do is bring your B.A.E. down to Fl and spend some time with your Nana and Papa! I’m sure this will be shock that this is my suggestion! (:-)
    You are loved by us,
    Papa & Nana


  2. I’m so glad you are blogging again. What first? Hmm . . . I vote for getting your ears pierced!


  3. Pingback: INFP, part 1: the spectrum of normal | Hannah's Scribblings

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